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Loafing Routine Abbott and Costello ABBOTT, obviously tired,
walks in to messy house to find COSTELLO
reading a comic book on couch ABBOTT: Just as I . . . .CUT THAT OUT!
(very angry) What is this all about?!! COSTELLO: Wazza matter with you? ABBOTT: I’ve been out all day long looking for work! Do you ever go out to
look for work? COSTELLO: Certainly! . . .. . ABBOTT: (interrupts) Am I the only one that’s gonna do all work around here? COSTELLO: I was workin’. ABBOTT: ah (angrily) COSTELLO: I was reading a comic book ABBOTT: Really, a comic book. That don’t feed ya, my friend. That
don’t put food in the icebox COSTELLO: Wait a minute. . . ABBOTT: Don’t gimme that wait a minute stuff. COSTELLO: Wait a minute, I think I
heard something I didn’t know ABBOTT: What? COSTELLO: You said you were out all
day workin’? ABBOTT: I was out there looking for a job. COSTELLO: Did you get? ABBOTT: Yes, I got a job. COSTELLO: Oh ABBOTT: I hadda get a job, you don’t want to work COSTELLO: What are you doing? ABBOTT: I got a job in a bakery. COSTELLO: GOOD! What are you doing there? ABBOTT: Loafin’. COSTELLO: WHOA! ABBOTT: Oh boy. COSTELLO: What are you doing? ABBOTT: Loafin’. COSTELLO: Where? ABBOTT: In a bakery. COSTELLO: You workin? ABBOTT: Certainly. COSTELLO: Doing what? ABBOTT: loafing COSTELLO: Well that’s what I was doing here, I was taking it easy ABBOTT: AHH! NO NO NO! Not that kind of loafing! You’re just a lazy no good
idiot. COSTELLO: I . . . (gets
interrupted) ABBOTT: Not this kind here COSTELLO (still talking) I, I, I was taking it easy, just like you ABBOTT: I work when I loaf. COSTELLO: (after 3 sec
pause) how could you work and loaf at the same time? ABBOTT: Why not? COSTELLO: Can I do that? ABBOTT: That’s what they pay me for! COSTELLO: They pay you for what? ABBOTT: To loaf! COSTELLO: (after short
pause) HOW DO THEY PAY YOU FOR LOAFING??? AT A BAKERS STORE YOU
GOTTA DO SOMETHING? ABBOTT: I’m a baker, so I’m loafing there COSTELLO: You just go to work at a bakers store you don’t do nuthing. ABBOTT AND COSTELLO ARE INTERRUPTING EACHOTHERABBOTT: oh yes, oh yes COSTELLO: HOW MUCH THEY PAY YOU IN A BAKERS STORE TO LOAF? ABBOTT: Dollar and a half an hour. COSTELLO: FOR LOAFING? ABBOTT: I’m a Union man, I belong to the Union COSTELLO: I’m loafing here and not getting a nickel for it. ABBOTT: You’re not supposed to get money for that kind of loafing. COSTELLO: Well can I loaf there with ya? ABBOTT: I should say not! You gotta join the Union! COSTELLO: I have to join the Union of Loafers? ABBOTT: You can’t loaf without belonging to the Union. COSTELLO: Well, waddaya think o’ that? You mean I hafta join the Union in
order to loaf? ABBOTT: Well certainly! COSTELLO: Don’t say anything, but I’ve been loafing here without the
Union knowing ABBOTT: No, you don’t know how to loaf here! (pause) (repeat) You
can’t loaf here, you’ve got no dough! COSTELLO: I’ve got no dough,
that’s cause I’m loafing, I’ve got no dough. ABBOTT: Oh, Well, you need dough in order to loaf. Then you need a card to join the Union! COSTELLO: You mean you need dough to loaf? ABBOTT: Well sure, how could you loaf without dough? COSTELLO: That’s what I’ve been trying, you can’t do it. ABBOTT: Whoa; well you can’t do it. You can’t do anything. COSTELLO: Well I can’t retire right now, I have to get a job first.
Provided by Brian and Reggie |